Students and Superheroes: Basically the Same

Super Student

Epic music on the background, here we go with the thriller of the century. DC and Marvel don`t even come close to the tremendous level of the screen version of this story. This is the real life and they are ruthless, tireless and the most powerful. They know all the tricks of life and own it like the bosses. The superheroes of our time, we see them every day and never get a chance to praise them for their bravery.

I don`t think there is a point to continue with the mysterious vibe. You`ve guessed it anyway. Whom am I kidding? It`s all in the title. In fact, I do believe that being a student is equal to have a status of a superhero. I can literally hear your skeptical sighs now, guys, but let me give you the truth.


Yes, exactly, portrayed by our favorite Ben Affleck, and for whom he is not favorite, let`s just move on, all right? As we all know, because we all are huge biology fans or Batman fans (I`d go with both), the bats have developed the ability to sleep upside down and pretty much in every position. Now try to say to me that this is not exactly a student`s typical behavior.

Students are always busy, they have their schedules all occupied with the parties and some irrelevant stuff that has something to do with studying. Anyway, just like bats students have an ability to sleep in a position that was not meant by biology for a human being. They can sleep hanging on the handle in the bus, they can fall asleep half way to the bed and the most extraordinary talent of all – they can sleep with their eyes wide open during the lecture. That`s the true inspiration behind the Katy Perry`s “Wide Awake” song.

Another resemblance to bats is hiding in the students` highly sensitive hearing. The moment professor is taking an absolutely silent step in the direction to that presenter of the fauna, he knows it immediately. A student can hear absolutely everything. Even something that can`t be detected by the special fancy spying equipment. A student can hear his bro whispering the answers to the test being dozens of desks away. That`s what I call a superpower!



It`s a step, and one more step and one more. Oooh, you`re almost there, at your final destination, you almost made it to the bed but failed at doing it noiselessly. You know who can do that flawlessly? A student, of course! This is the species of the highest level of the evolutionary ladder who can enter the room after a party being wasted as hell and get to the bed without even making a sound.

And the way they squeeze into the buses and subway trains during the rush hours! You could just watch those graceful spider-like moves all day long. How about crowded cafeteria during the lunch break? You can only win your chance for food in an honest battle for your place in a queer. So, are we talking about an ability to get everywhere in any possible way here, or what? That`s exactly what Spiderman does for the living. Or he does that for free? Wow, I should really re-watch the series.


Catwoman is in a close relationship with Spiderman. At least in our story. I bet Halle Berry will make it work with anybody. The situation when you have to enter the lecture that has already started and take your seat being unnoticed is tons of work. So kitty superpowers will help with that. During student years you learn how to make yourself practically invisible when a teacher is asking you to answer the question. You might use that later in life.

One more trick from super-duper powerful students. The cat eyes. Not the catty eye makeup, dear ladies, but more of a “cat-from-Shrek” look. They are so sad, it seems like you`re going to cry, now your pupils are the half size of your head. You can always turn on the mode “the cute kittie”. Yes, a student life teaches you a lot, especially when you need to explain your professor why are you delaying the passing of your academic paper for a month or so. Just be as cute as a kitten and you will get back in the game.

It would be useful, if you could pur as well. Though, I’ve seen the students who actually did that. No kidding, you guys. Okay, in case you don’t follow my flow of thoughts here (and I don’t blame you for that, it does look like a mad hatter diary sometimes) I HAVE to tell you the whole story.

So I had that cray-cray professor at the university who was obsessed with cats. And not in Taylor Swift cute way, but in Joker maniac way. She used to demand cats to be on the cover of our notebooks. The person who didn`t want to follow her weird rules was considered to be a real daredevil. So, dear students, let`s keep our cat superpowers under control because they can go wild sometimes.



Being able to study for the exam while knowing nothing requires a hell of the superpower. You forget about the food, about the decent amount of sleep (like you ever remember about this during your years in university), you get all your strength together and enter the portal where the pure evil you`re supposed to fight resides. That`s how you enter the classroom where the professor is waiting for you.

Figuring out the minimum points to pass the course is your kryptonite. Yes, every Superman and Superwoman has one. At an exam, you look like exactly a man from another planet, just like Superman: with bags under the eyes, all the jibber-jabber instead of normal words and green face color.

You hold yet another superpower: the amount of alcohol you drink at the party doesn’t seem like a number of shots a normal human being will survive through. Besides, the healing power in the mornings is tremendous as well. Can you even imagine how strong the will power and the actual physical power is in possession of a student to wake up in the morning and attend a lecture?

Therefore, we came to the conclusion just now that superheroes do exist in real life. That weird creature wrapped up in four layers of scarfs, who is barely standing on his/her feet leaning on one side because of all of that textbooks. Yes, chances are that creature is a student. Guess what, it is a hero who is going to use their superpower in their future career. They may not hold a lot of magic, but they do have the strongest power in the world. Which is knowledge.

This article was written by Ian

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *