Split the Bill: Almost Like “Kill Bill” If We Talk About Friendships

Kill Bill Poster

The awful level of the awkwardness of this moment can`t be measured in any way. Sweaty palms, accelerated heartbeat, and inability to put two and two together. It`s always funny to hang out with your friends, but sooner or later this moment will come and there is no way to avoid it.

The process of splitting the table. Why is it so hard? Because there is simply no right decision in this situation. You don`t want to overwhelm the waiters with all this toddlers` level arithmetic, so you just want to play it cool, right?

If you split the check equally, then one of you is definitely going to end up dissatisfied. Usually, it`s that very friend who is constantly on a juice cleanse and whose eating habits don`t distinguish them much from a rabbit. And they don`t want to pay extra money for your meat, you cruel animals!

On the other hand, you don`t want to seem cheap because it`s never a good reputation to have in your company of friends. We are like genies here, serving you a solution.


Pirates of the Caribbean

In case you don`t remember, and how dare you, this is the word pirates use to initiate negotiation before ruthless and cruel manslaughter takes its course. And I don`t care if it`s not the word the real pirates used, but it was in “Pirates of the Caribbean” franchise and it`s good enough for me.

Talk it over before the dinner starts. That`s the way to avoid exchanging weird glances and reaching into the pocket to get the money but doing it in a slow motion. It`s not hard to discuss it. You actually came with these people to grab some food and you were planning to talk to them eventually, so start the friendly conversation, figuring this question out.

Yes, Etiquette Rules Still Exist These Days

Let`s drop the topic of casual sessions of hanging out with your fellas at the local pub and talk about more specific situations. There are some etiquette rules which point out the most righteous choices for your behavior at the dinner with other people.

If you are the one who invited everyone for a dinner, then you are the one paying for it. The totally different situation is when you just make a suggestion to get together for a couple of shots. The invitation is something different. When you get a work promotion or any other happy events happen you, as the initiator of the celebration, you will have to come down with your money.

It`s okay to pay for the birthday-girl/boy, but only if you are in a group of people. If you are rolling in money, don`t show it off, it`s a complete and utter mauvais ton (which is French for “don`t be a braggart pig”).

God Bless Modern Technology

Now scientists do the real stuff for us, you people. Check out some apps which you can download on your phones and actually get things to go smoothly at the end of the dinner. Seriously, they exist. I had no idea as well.

So, here is how it works. The important thing is that all of you get the same app and there is a whole bunch of variations of them. It won`t be a hard thing to do if you go out with the same group of people pretty often.

There is not enough of phone memory? Dude, you should have deleted “Pokemon GO” by this time. It`s not trendy anymore. People are in fidget spinners now! After seeing humans falling into various frenzies that easily, I feel like we are not going to survive the Apocalypse.


This article was written by Ian

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